Where can I have a Funeral Ceremony?

This is a question we have been asked many, many times over the last 15 years and the answer is, lots of places you may not immediately think of. Of course, churches, funeral home and crematorium chapels and gravesites are all purpose built for services. So are many town halls, surf clubs, events and signature venues, restaurants, botanic gardens, parks and even, your own backyard.

Although many services still take place in these locations today, there has been a move to hold funeral services in locations that were significant to the person who’s life is being celebrated and to their community.

Many years ago, Victoria met with a representative from the City of Sydney Council and discussed the vital role that Town Halls and others community spaces play in the health and well being of our community, and that allowing funerals (with a coffin present) in these locations was a vital service. They agreed and this ushered in a new era of site specific funerals in many of these iconic and much loved buildings. Other LGA’s and venues followed.

Glebe Town Hall is one place that this began, at least for us at Life Rites. This beautifully restored landmark venue has allowed people to come to a funeral of their person, spend time in ceremony and then stay in the same venue for a catered wake, sometime, with the coffin present for the wake, has been an extremely healing and valuable experience. People have remarked to us that having spent time in meetings or other gathering with the person in the Town Hall while they were alive and coming to say goodbye to them in these familiar places really conveys the cycle of life and offers a sense of completion.

We have since worked with Redfern Town Hall, Marrickville Town Hall and many other Town Halls, all of which support site specific funeral ceremonies by allowing community members to gather in places that literally support integrating death as a part of life.

Often these grand old buildings seem the right scale and fit for the enormity of loss. They can also provide intimate and private gathering opportunities.

Surf Clubs also play vital roles in holding the fabric of community together.

North Bondi Surf Club  in Sydney east and Wanda Surf club in the Sutherland Shire, among others,  understand the importance of allowing families and communities to honour their people in locations that were a huge part of their lives.

So too Horizons at South Maroubra Surf Club, under the vision and leadership of  family owned Top Cat Catering who led the way when they managed Clovelly Surf Club in 2010 where a service for a local and much loved member was held. These locations keep the memory of the local people alive as friends pass by, swim at the beach and gather for anniversaries, birthdays and other key life celebrations and milestones.

On the Central Coast we work alongside Towoon Bay Surf Life Saving Club and many others. The culture of Surf and RSL Clubs truly understand how to care for community and we love them for this.

Grief and grieving come to most of us in the course of our lives. The value of being able to stay farewell in a place that reflects people’s lives and their values is beyond compare, Add to this that many of these spaces are by the ocean or in a location that is full of beauty and nature is a well known balm for the shock and pain of loss.

Audley Dance Hall, just south of Sydney in the Royal National Park is another location that serves community by providing their original dance hall venue, a great menu and an amazing location for a ceremony and catered wake.

Camperdown Commons holds coffin present funerals some weekdays for locals and others for whom the community garden and working farm and restaurant venue reflects the ethos and values of the family who want to celebrate their person’s life. Having a ceremony and catered wake in the same venue, often with the coffin present for some of the wake, allows for creative expressions of love, such as writing messages of condolence directly onto the coffin, raising a glass, placing a cup of tea on the coffin or just spending some proximal and quiet time.

The Coast Chapel- this beautiful A frame chapel at Little Bay looks out over the golf course and through stained glass windows to the curved blue line of the horizon. This space, sitting as part of The Prince Henry development provides a secular and sacred intimate place to gather for those wanting to honour spiritual or religious beliefs without being in a Church.  So too Temple on The Park in Newtown, backing on to Camperdown Rest Park offers a Buddhist informed space for ceremony.

You an also have a funeral service in your own garden or backyard. These home funeral services are ways in which people are literally bring their person home for a final farewell and these ceremonies and often attendant bbq’s, refreshments and parties have brought entire streets and neighbourhoods together, long into the night with a renewed sense of connection.

The Small Hall at Our Secret Garden is one of a number of places on the Central Coast for a site specific, coffin in place service.  Some council support coffin in place funerals in their local parks and outdoor spaces. These are best made upon request to your particular LGA. A few years ago we farewelled a local in the Wollongong Botanic Gardens  under a rotunda on a glorious day and this remains a treasured memory for all who were in attendance.

There are so many more places in which we can celebrate and honour the lives of people we love. Whist a community and site specific funeral is not for everyone, the very fact that there is a growing understanding and willingness for town halls, surf clubs, signature venues and local councils to embrace a community funeral speaks to changing attitudes to death in our society and culture. It also speaks to a nuanced understanding of what a funeral service can and needs to provide, so as to lay the foundation for healthy grieving and a sense of authenticity and pride for those whose lives continue. Knowing that all involved created and experienced the farewell for their person in a way and a place that truly honours and reflects them; this is what our funeral rites need to give us so we can all navigate love, loss and grief as a part of life.

Where would you like to have your funeral?